To My Dear Friend…

To My Dear Friend…

Friends…

When I moved to the Washington DC area nearly 10 years ago, changing friends was something I grew Best Friend Foreveraccustomed too.  I was use to changing friends and I hated it.  I had some amazing friends from college.  I wish I would have done my part for us to stay consistent in each other’s lives.  Some of the very best friendships have been reduced to the occasional birthday text/call and short visits when I find myself in town.  My circle of friends shifted a few years after living in DC.  There was a time I could bring all of my friends, from all walks of life, into one room but it was not so easy anymore.  My friends had different interests and frankly not everyone meshed well beyond the normal game nights.  It was so important for me to maintain those friendships but as I grew, I learned that not all friendships are meant to last forever.  Truth is? Growing up, I did not get to hang with my friends outside of school.  My parents were strict, with reason.  I do not have a best friend from high school or middle school.  Nonetheless, I cherish each friend and beyond thankful for their impact in my life, rather good or bad.  Sometimes the inevitable happens…friends grow apart.  The very people you thought would be in your wedding or simply at your 40th birthday party may no longer be a part of those major life moments.  This is a letter to my dear friends who I just don’t get to talk to as often anymore…

Dear Friend:

To my friend who is wondering if I still consider you a friend…  

Yes, I do.  I know you’re doing enough even if I or you may wish we did more.  You are giving me all you have.  I see you are trying.  Can we both do more?  Of course.  The phone works both ways and I know we both have been busy these past few years.  I can feel your support in your absence.  I feel the cheers from the bleachers of your life.  I know you are there and no, I have not stopped loving you.  I love you even more for doing the best you can to remain a staple in my life even through the chaos of your own life…I support you.  I’m so proud of each one of your accomplishments.  I love you dear friend…

To the friend I grew apart with…

I see your oh-so-cute daughter on Facebook.  Your son is too precious.  I wish your children knew about all the fun times we had in college.  I wish they knew about the nights out on the town.   We’d get all dressed up and just have a good time.  I promise not to tell your children about some of the trouble we got into during those years.   I grew so much because of you.  I admired you.  You thought you admired me but the truth is I always looked up to you.  Your confidence.  Your sweet spirit.  I miss our closeness dear friend.  I smile each time a photo pops up on my timeline of you and your new life.  You have grown into such a beautiful person and I know your children will do the same…

To the friend where our paths parted…

I know we are in two different places in life.  Honestly, I’m not even sure if our paths will ever meet again.  Nonetheless, I love you.  I cherish the crazy nights we spent together.  I cherish the times were we laughed until our stomachs hurt.  I cherish those moments you shared your darkest secrets with me.  I will forever hold the moments we shared dear to my heart.  Life took us on two different paths.  I’m proud of the woman you are becoming.  I hope you can say the same for me…

To the friend who made me question friendships…

If I call you my friend, your value is that of a sister.  See, I never had any biological sisters so I tend to love hard when it comes to my friends.  I wasn’t so good at conflict so I tend to avoid arguments.  We sort of just stopped being friends.  You made a choice that hurt me.  A choice that you would not have made if I was actually your sister.  But it’s ok.  Your decision made me realize that not everyone needs to be considered a sister, and it is not personal if a person makes a decision in their own best interest.  Sometimes we must be selfish.  You taught me to begin putting myself first.  I learned to make those tough decisions where everyone would not be pleased.  I promise you,  I do not hold any grudge.  I’ll never share your secrets.  I’ll never speak negative about you.  At that time, we shared a wonderful friendship.  Thank you for the memories…

To the friends I lost…

I walked away.  I simply needed to take time for myself.  While I tried to be strong for you, I didn’t have anyone propping me up.  I was emotionally drained and I had to find me in the chaos.  There was so much going on that I never shared with you.  Drowning in sorrow is just not my thing.  I rather accept the things I cannot change and roll with life punches.  If I hurt you in any way, I apologize and hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.  Will we ever cross paths again?  I’m not sure…but do know I am always cheering you on and I hope you find your happiness.  I hope you find whatever your heart desires.  I’m in a good place and I wish that for you as well…

**Sometimes we do not realize that our friends are human.  When we allow friends to be human, we can be forgiving.  Forgiving of their mistakes.  Forgiving of our own mistakes.  We all have the right to be selfish.  Through all our selflessness, there comes a moment where you have to put self first.  Sometimes we have to step back and truly be cognizant of our friend’s life obligations.  They truly can be giving you all that is left of them even if it only seems like a minuscule part of them…

 I can honestly say I have met some beautiful souls throughout the years.  I am truly thankful for those who continue to be a part of my life despite the changes.  I thank you.  I cherish you…dear friend.

xoxo

Monica 



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Monica L. Taylor is a Certified Professional Life Coach and Motivational Speaker. Monica inspires individuals to get out of their own way and live the life they desire. If you are stuck or need help defining your vision your life, contact Monica for a complimentary coaching session.

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