As I enter this new decade, I am noticing a shift in my attitude and tolerance level. The things I would accept at 21, I would not dare entertain at 30. I have learned to appreciate the woman I am, flaws and all. Am I perfect? Of course not. However, I am worth it. I am worth love, self-love. Sometimes we can place how we feel about ourselves solely in the hands of a partner or a person who is not deserving of having such power. We value ourselves based on how others have treat us or currently treating us. If you do not love you, you cannot expect someone else to love you. We set the standard of how we want to be treated. This is not just in relationships but friendships as well. I know some women may not experience this issue but there are women who suffer with self-confidence. I was one of those women. I decided to fall unapologetically in love with myself. As I turn 30, I am excited. It is something about reaching this milestone and being in such a good place, mentally. I have had to let some things go. I have had to be at peace with the very things that brought me disappointment. I am becoming at peace with the very things that are outside of my control and I have no idea what the ending will be. I fell in love, with me…
Here are three ways you can fall unapologetically in love with yourself:
It is okay to love a person, but you have to love yourself more. I learned a few years ago that love is not a reason to stay in an unhealthy relationship or friendship. You do not have to stop loving that person to leave. You just have to love yourself a little bit more. If a relationship brings me more tears than smiles, I am okay walking away. I enjoy spending time with me so it simply frees up time to invest my energy elsewhere.
Mistakes are mistakes. This was a tough one for me. I think around 25, I began accepting that people, friends, parents, etc. were human. They are human. They are not immune to bad decisions, selfish decisions. Mistakes are simply mistakes. I learned to not take things so personal. I learned that hurt people tend to continually hurt people. You cannot always be everything to everybody. It can become exhausting. I also forgave myself for my mistakes. And boy did I make a lot of mistakes. I am not proud of a lot of my decisions but they made me the strong woman I am today. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? I am not immune from mistakes, from mishaps. Sometimes, I just will not get it right. However, I will not continue to make the same mistake that I know results in nothing but more stress or heartache. I love me for recognizing those mistakes and actively making a choice to not repeat them.
Life goes on. I truly miss some of the dear friends I had at 21, at 22, heck at 23 and 24. One thing about me is I value friends and love them well beyond our expiration date. I miss those friendships. While I still cherish the memories, I am completely okay with not having a million friends anymore. I have an amazing circle who supports me. They pour into me. They pour positivity, love, and just plain ole laughter sometimes. They help refill me when the world seems to drain me. Most importantly, I know that life goes on and a bad situation or terrible year is no reason to become stagnant. I am growing and will continue to grow in my personal life, my businesses, and professional life. I am thankful, beyond thankful, for sorting through some of the friendships to truly find those diamonds. They are jewels in my life.
Cheers to a new decade. Cheers to love, self love. Cheers to 30.
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