Monica’s Corner

#AskaLifeCoach

#AskaLifeCoach

Monica’s Corner

Dear Monica,

I was offered a job in another city but I’m not sure if I should take it.  I’m single with no kids.  I’m not dating anyone seriously and I really think it would be a great for my career.  I’m just scared that things will go wrong.  I don’t want to uproot my life and then things don’t work out.  I also don’t want to leave my family.  They depend on me financially and I think that I would be leaving them when they really need me.  I just don’t know how to convince myself that I should take this job.  It’s a really great opportunity in my field.  Everything in me says yes but I’m just not sure.  My family thinks I should take the job but I think they are just saying that to not make me have to chose between family and a job…help.

-C.


Dear C.

Thank you for writing into Monica’s Corner.  Changing jobs and moving to a new city at once can definitely be scary.  About three weeks after graduating from college, I moved from South Carolina to the DC area (Alexandria, Virginia to be specific).  I left my parents and my brother and moved to a new city nearly 8 hours aways.  I did not have any family in the area but I did end up renting an apartment with a friend from my hometown.  It was definitely scary moving to the “big city.”  The honest truth is that sometimes you have to do the very thing that scares you.  You have to step out of your comfort zone.  If you really want to take this job and you are in a position to make the move, I say go for it.  You can still help your parents financially, if you choose too.  If it will be too much of a burden, communicate that to your parents but you must make the best decision for you.  It seems that your family is encouraging your move.  Trust them.  Sit down and talk with your parents.  Have an honest conversation with them.  I’d like to know more about your relationship with you parents so I can help you even more in navigating that conversation.  You’d be surprised to learn that they want nothing but the best for you.  Don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first.  It’s okay to choose and find your own happiness.  When I’m unsure about doing something or going after a new opportunity, I remind myself of this– I know what  I have.  That’s comfortable.  However, I’ll never know what the other could be if I don’t at least try.  Even if you don’t like the job, guess what?  You can move back!  Don’t burn any bridges.  I’m sure you can always return home if needed.  Grow, learn, and flourish.  Make that move. I can tell by your email you want to take this opportunity.  Don’t focus on all of the things that can go wrong.  What if it actually goes right?  Take the job.  I believe in you…You just have to believe in yourself.

-Monica

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Monica’s Corner…

Monica’s Corner…

Ask a Life Coach

Dear Monica: I was so hesitant about this and really had to work up the nerve.  I work in the Ask a Life Coach
insurance field and there is not a lot of room for growth where I reside.  I’m comfortable here, our house is paid for and we are comfortable, however, both my husband and I are getting bored with our jobs because there isn’t a lot of room for growth or opportunities. We are considering moving, there is a lot of opportunity in both our fields.  He’s ready to leave, but I’m terrified (mostly because we will be paying rent again after 10 years).  I know what the answer should be, but I think it would help hearing it from someone that is successful and took that jump. – A

Dear A:  First, I want to thank you for working up the nerve to write in your question.  You’re already taking the first step at getting uncomfortable.  Fear and hesitation are normal emotions that we must acknowledge.  Even though we acknowledge them, this does not mean that we succumb or give into them.  Here’s what I want you to do:  Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle.  I want you to write the pros and cons of staying where you are now versus moving for potential opportunity.  Which list is longer?!?  Sometimes, even if one list is longer or shorter than the other, some pros have a heavier weight than the cons.  Can you and your husband secure a position with growth opportunity prior to the move?  I know several companies who have assisted their employees in transitioning to a new job in a new area.  Can you remain with the same company and transfer to the new area?  Once you get to the area, you can both establish realistic timeframes of finding even more opportunities!  Now, in regards to the rent, I know the feeling.  I remember when I first moved to the Washington DC area, I had a roommate.  After a year, my roommate decided it would be best for her to move in with some relatives to save money.  I still hold this against her till this day.  Just kidding 🙂  Honestly, I panicked.  How was I going to find an apartment just as good for about the same price in this high DC area rent market.  I established a budget and what I was willing to pay.  Yes, I had to pay about $300 more than what I was accustomed too.  Your husband seems onboard with the possible move so I would sit down with him and research the rental rates in the area and establish a budget that makes you both comfortable.  With new opportunity comes more money!  Who knows, you may love the area and end up purchasing a house there too!  Have you considered renting out your current home?  If so, you can use some of that money towards your rental in the new location.  Ultimately, sometimes change is uncomfortable.  Change is not always easy.  As I always say, sometimes you have to simply do it in fear.  Sometimes you have to take that jump in uncertainty.  If you’re tired of watching the same rerun on the tv, you have to get up, get the remote and change the channel.  You can do this.  You just have to silence that little fear bug and create a realistic plan that both you and your husband can agree on.  You and he are more than capable of accomplishing what you all desire.  Set a realistic timeframe, budget, and save for the move.  Save an amount that you and your husband feel comfortable in the event you move before one of you has a new job.  I think that you know the answer.  You just have to convince yourself.  What’s stopping you?  Is it a legitimate fear or are you standing in your own way.  As I always say, get out of your own way and live the life you desire.  It’s your canvas, paint it 🙂  Thanks for writing in!!

-Monica


Are we connected on social media??

Facebook: monicataylorspeaks

Instagram: monicaspeaks_

Twitter: monicaspeaks_

Periscope: monicaspeaks_

Download my free guide—5 Strategies to Get Rid of Self Doubt.  

Download my free guide- 5 Ways to Practice Self-Care


Have you considered a Life Coach?  Click here to book your complimentary, yes free, introductory session.

Have a question for a life coach?  Submit your question here.  

Having an event?  Contact me at contactus@iamwys.com for speaking packages.  I would love to share my story and motivate others at your next event.  


 Have you heard about my 5 week challenge?  Do you need help defining your vision, setting goals, and removing external and internal roadblocks?  Be sure to book your complimentary coaching session (yes, free) for more details.  Click here.  If you want to read more about the challenge, click here.


 What’s Your Story? Shop iamWYS Gear

shop me