Monica’s Corner

Dear Monica,

I was offered a job in another city but I’m not sure if I should take it.  I’m single with no kids.  I’m not dating anyone seriously and I really think it would be a great for my career.  I’m just scared that things will go wrong.  I don’t want to uproot my life and then things don’t work out.  I also don’t want to leave my family.  They depend on me financially and I think that I would be leaving them when they really need me.  I just don’t know how to convince myself that I should take this job.  It’s a really great opportunity in my field.  Everything in me says yes but I’m just not sure.  My family thinks I should take the job but I think they are just saying that to not make me have to chose between family and a job…help.


Dear C.

Thank you for writing into Monica’s Corner.  Changing jobs and moving to a new city at once can definitely be scary.  About three weeks after graduating from college, I moved from South Carolina to the DC area (Alexandria, Virginia to be specific).  I left my parents and my brother and moved to a new city nearly 8 hours aways.  I did not have any family in the area but I did end up renting an apartment with a friend from my hometown.  It was definitely scary moving to the “big city.”  The honest truth is that sometimes you have to do the very thing that scares you.  You have to step out of your comfort zone.  If you really want to take this job and you are in a position to make the move, I say go for it.  You can still help your parents financially, if you choose too.  If it will be too much of a burden, communicate that to your parents but you must make the best decision for you.  It seems that your family is encouraging your move.  Trust them.  Sit down and talk with your parents.  Have an honest conversation with them.  I’d like to know more about your relationship with you parents so I can help you even more in navigating that conversation.  You’d be surprised to learn that they want nothing but the best for you.  Don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first.  It’s okay to choose and find your own happiness.  When I’m unsure about doing something or going after a new opportunity, I remind myself of this– I know what  I have.  That’s comfortable.  However, I’ll never know what the other could be if I don’t at least try.  Even if you don’t like the job, guess what?  You can move back!  Don’t burn any bridges.  I’m sure you can always return home if needed.  Grow, learn, and flourish.  Make that move. I can tell by your email you want to take this opportunity.  Don’t focus on all of the things that can go wrong.  What if it actually goes right?  Take the job.  I believe in you…You just have to believe in yourself.


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