Surviving Compton premiered on Lifetime tonight. I must say I enjoyed the movie. I watched Michel’le on R&B Divas and grew a liking to her. Michel’le was signed to Easy-E’s Ruthless Records. Some feel she was conveniently left out of the Straight out of Compton movie. While a few scenes caused me to tear up, it is so important that her version, her story, her view, is told. There are so many women who are or have been in abusive relationships. There are so many who choose to remain silent. Rather you agree with the authenticity of her story or not, it is a story that is often untold. I will not blame Michel’le for staying. I will not blame her for leaving one abusive relationship and moving on to another. Honestly, my opinion is that Michel’le did not leave because she did not love herself enough to leave. I think women must learn that you do not have to stop loving him to leave. Being single can give you some time to truly get to know you, love you. I will not simplify this into this blog post but there were some key takeaways in her sharing her story. Sometimes your story can empower someone while being therapeutic for you. Here are three takeaways from the Lifetime movie:
I started iamWYS because I have had many people confide their stories, their secrets, in me. I believe that my story plays a major role in the woman I am today. I didn’t always love me the way I should love me. I wanted to inspire others while I inspired myself. Our story plays an integral part in the decisions we make. Our upbringing can have a negative impact on our lives. It impacts us daily rather we realize it or not. I personally know women who have stayed in abusive relationships, cheating relationships, and just miserable all around relationships. People are quick to assume it easy for these women to just leave. Throw children into the mix and it can be even harder. You cannot change a man. He has to change for himself. If you ever come to me for advice, I tell you exactly what I tell myself when I make the decision to leave a relationship for whatever reason. “It is okay to love a person, but you have to love yourself more.” I can’t tell you that it is easy to stop loving someone. However, you have to love YOU more. You have to know that through all your mess, there is a message. You are of value. You are worthy of healthy love. Love yourself more…
While I highly doubt she said this line to Suge as portrayed in the movie, this was one of the most powerful lines of the movie. We see that Michel’le grandmother instilled in her that abuse was okay. It was normal. This blog post is not just about abuse. Do not let somebody give you hell covered in dollar bills. Do not let that man or woman constantly disrespect you. If he/she is constantly cheating on you or verbally abusing you, do not think that you cannot do any better. Do not let somebody give you hell covered in dollar bills. Of course, no one is perfect but if you feel like you’re waking up in hell everyday, you have to take a look at your situation. You are worth so much more. I don’t care how unclean your past is… Money is not a reason to stay unhappy.
What do you do after you leave? Forgive yourself for staying so long. Take ownership of your role in the situation. Yes, people will judge you. They may call you all kind of names because you were not strong enough to leave sooner. Regardless, forgive yourself. Forgive yourself because I know it hurts. It especially hurts when you see that person go on and seemingly have an amazing, happy, life. The man who once abused you or just did not treat you right is now happily married with a new family. He is seemingly a changed man. Forgive yourself. He has to deal with his own demons. One thing I’ve learned is to forgive myself and forgive those who have wronged me. There is no need in me losing sleep while they get to sleep like a newborn baby. You made the decision but one thing about mistakes, we all make them. Figure out why you are not loving you the way you should be loved. This is not an overnight process. I am an advocate of therapy. Learn to love you. Continue to grow…learn from your mistakes and be sure not to make the same ones over and over…
What did you think of the movie? I’d love to hear your comments…
Until next time…
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